Excerpt from A Martian Eye for an Earthling Guy
“Uuurgh... Where am I?”
“A designated police facility, Senor Nervion. My name is Anthony Stradivarius and I just need to ask you a few questions, that's all. You can be back in your car in half an hour with your lunch of spaghetti carbonara still in your stomach. It's what we all want.”
“Is this a... kidnapping? Do you know who I am?”
“Yes I do. You are Carlos Nervion, lawyer. So you'll understand that this is a legal interrogation under the provisions of the Patriot Act 2001, the 2015 Terrorism Act and the 2023 Security Protocol. But you probably guessed all that.”
“This is an outrage!" shouted Nervion, "I will sue the police department! How dare you violate my constitutional rights in this way?”
Tork chuckled. He grabbed the bottle of soda water resting on the table beside him and moved closer to his prisoner,
“Your nose has been buried in books for too long, my friend. There are no constitutional rights out here. So in your shoes, Mr Nervion, I would swallow my pride and cooperate.”
“And if I don't?” said Nervion, his chin jutting forward.
“So glad you asked that question. Let Anthony Stradivarius tell you all about it.”
Tork knelt down, checking the lawyer's bindings, staring him in the eye.
“Do you know why I call myself Stradivarius? Let me tell you; it's because the original Stradivarius guy was a genius. From his violins came sounds sweeter than anything else man has ever made. And all he had to work with was iron tools and glue from animal bones! With all our technology, all our science we just can't make violins as good. Even after all these centuries of progress, his are still better than the modern ones.”
Tork straightened up,
“I also make instruments sing in the old fashioned way. You, Mr Nervion, are my instrument. For all their science and psychology, modern interrogators can't play you like I will. And I only need this.”
He waggled the bottle of water in front of Nervion's nose,
“Over the border it's called Tehuacan water and we use it in a technique known as the Tehuacanazo. It's simple and effective. I just pour this water up your nose. The water and the bubbles cause excruciating pain and you will tell me everything. I remember I only needed a second bottle of water once. I think the guy I was questioning knew meditation or yoga. Do you meditate, Mr Nervion?”
The lawyer swallowed hard.